


from the chest down

by Fingertac



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Depression, Dissociation, Mental Health Issues, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, wanda going through it tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fingertac/pseuds/Fingertac
Summary: The numbness began to wear off and the pain started to set in. The pain of loss, the pain of knowing there was no one left, not really. The guilt was almost worse. Wanda knew that what had happened was her fault. If not for her blind desire for revenge, she would never have been in this position. She would still have her brother, and her home.
Relationships: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	from the chest down

**Author's Note:**

> tw for depression. take care of yourselves.

It’s a common stereotype, the idea that twins have a supernatural connection with each other, but it’s not entirely misplaced. Twins do share a unique connection and Wanda and Pietro were certainly no exception. It was hard to describe. It wasn’t like they could read each other’s mind’s, and they couldn’t feel each other’s physical pain. It was always more of a mental thing, an incomparable, deeply rooted understanding of each other’s emotions and state of mind. When Pietro was depressed, so was Wanda. When Wanda was angry, Pietro was too. It was almost as if they shared the same personality, the same train of thought, and would therefore feel the same way as the other, in a given circumstance. The trauma of their youth solidified this unspoken thing. It was not something they could control, and not something they were entirely aware of either, not until it was too late, anyways. When Pietro was killed, Wanda realized just how much space Pietro had taken up in her heart. She realized how empty she truly was without him, without his confirming presence. And when he was gone, there was nothing to keep Wanda grounded to reality anymore. 

In those early days, after the events with Ultron, it was like she was floating, nobody was there to tell her that she was, in fact, still there. Still alive. It didn’t feel like it. It didn’t feel like anything. The Avengers tried their best. She went through the debriefings and told them what they wanted to know. When they asked what they could do for her, she told them they could do nothing, and so they left her alone. 

The numbness began to wear off and the pain started to set in. The pain of loss, the pain of knowing there was no one left, not really. The guilt was almost worse. Wanda knew that what had happened was her fault. If not for her blind desire for revenge, she would never have been in this position. She would still have her brother, and her home. 

It was a rough few weeks afterwards. The others were accommodating. They had given Wanda a room, her own space to mourn, though she felt less than deserving. She spent a lot of time in there. Mostly lying in bed, trying to sleep, trying to ignore the world. She kept the TV on all the time. It was comforting, the bright glow, tinny sounds, and sometimes just static. It was the only thing that felt somewhat familiar to her in this new, unfamiliar world. 

The depression set in hard. It was a deep, unrelenting feeling of hopelessness. A heavy sorrow buried itself in her chest, and though she had felt this sadness before, when her parents were killed, this time there was no one there to pull her out. Pietro was dead, and the usual relief of drugs and alcohol she’d found as a teenager in the streets was unattainable now, under the watchful eye of the other Avengers. She’d spend days unable to move, unable to eat, unable to even cry. Wanda was digging herself a hole; one she would have a tough time crawling out of.

It took a while, but Wanda slowly started to realize that she wasn’t as dead to the world as she had so longed for. Natasha Romanoff was one of the first people who had made an effort to help, followed by Steve Rogers. They brought Wanda food and water regularly, made sure she was still breathing under her pile of blankets and pillows. Even on days when Wanda felt too sick to keep anything down, Natasha and Steve still made the effort to sit by her side and let her know that someone would be there when she was up to eating again. 

Her relationship with Natasha became a cherished one. Natasha spoke in a familiar tongue on nights when Wanda’s night terrors were particularly unrelenting and held her hand until she felt ready to speak of the horrors in her dreams. Wanda didn’t know if it was the fact that they had both endured grim childhoods, or if there was just an understanding that came with being from a war-torn, soviet hellhole, but she felt grateful for Natasha and their growing bond. She started to trust her. And so, when Natasha suggested Wanda see a counselor, Wanda felt hopeful for the first time in a long time, that perhaps she could get through this after all.

The months following, Wanda began to envision her future again. She wanted to atone. She wanted to make right her wrongs, and though she knew nothing she did would ever bring her brother back, or repair her country, she’d felt better knowing she was at least trying to be good. Wanda started to train with the other Avengers. Natasha became her primary mentor, giving her lessons in hand in hand combat and teaching her the intricate art of reconnaissance, so that one day soon, she would be able to accompany the team on their missions. Steve and Sam became like big brothers to her, with their teasing but genuine nature. Much to her surprise, they all seemed to empathize with her. Instead of making her feel ashamed or afraid of her powers, they helped her to harness them. Her abilities had become a point of contention within herself following her brother’s death. The guilt had suppressed any and all urges to use her magic. When she agreed to start training, her teammates had assured her that what she had could be used for good, and not just destruction. 

And then there was Vision. Her first meeting with him had been less than ideal, and in the wake of Ultron, Wanda had been less than trusting of the synthezoid. He’d saved her from that god-forsaken rock she once called home, and she didn’t think she could forgive him. When she’d felt her brother die, she’d stayed there on purpose, hoping she’d find the same fate, but Vision had come and scooped her up like the Superman he was. She avoided him like everyone else those first few weeks. When she started to sense his presence lingering outside her door on lonely nights, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least humor him. Remarkably, he was much more human than she initially realized. He held a soothing wisdom that made her yearn for his company. They would sit for hours in her room talking or just watching TV in a comfortable silence. He was never intimidating or judgmental and he always listened. She found it curious at first, his endless well of empathy, and though he hadn’t experienced much life to understand what she was going through, his support never wavered. 

That isn’t to say Wanda didn’t have her bad days. Grief would always come in waves, no matter what kind of progress she was making. Depressive episodes came and went. Wanda still had many moments where she didn’t feel attached to her own body, or she became too deeply caught up in her own mind. On the days she decided she wasn’t up for training, or dinner, or any socialization for that matter, Vision was there. He made sure she wasn’t alone, even consoling her at times, and Wanda never doubted his compassion again. 

Wanda still missed her brother and she still missed her country, but she’d made a home for herself in the team, and in Vision, and she only hoped that this peace she felt would hold. At least for a little while.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. It's kind of not even that, more like an analysis. I've always related a bit too much with Wanda I think. I have a twin brother and I wanted to explore Wanda and Pietro's dynamic a bit more in depth. Also her probable struggles with depression, which I felt were never explored enough, at least not until WandaVision. I'd also like to think the team cared about Wanda more than what was shown in the the films, which in my opinion were always too plot driven, not enough character interaction.
> 
> Thanks for reading luvs :)


End file.
